I came home Wednesday night completely gone. Fell asleep the second I got in.

Woke up to Mei and Ban both on the bed with me. Ban had taken my wife's pillow. He knows exactly where the comfortable spot is — he always does. Mei was running around with too much energy as usual. But I love them both more than I can say.

I laid in bed until 9AM. Just laid there, play on the phone, and do nothing just waste my time, but I will say in that moment it's not wasting time. Haven't done that in a long time. It felt like a luxury I forgot existed.

Then I made myself breakfast. Chinese pancake, scrambled eggs with soy sauce and sesame oil. Simple. Easy. Delicious.

 

Most days I just think about how to feed myself efficiently — cheap, fast, done. But yesterday I cooked slowly. And I remembered how much I used to love making breakfast for my wife. Setting the table for two. Those mornings.

I miss those mornings. I can't wait to have them back.

Spent the day running errands and driving. That's when I think best — when my hands are busy but my brain is free. I saw big trees. I looked up at a cloudy sky and it was still beautiful.

I smelled things you can't smell in the city. 

It reminded me of what I'm working toward this year. I want to have more time with her! AND I want her so bad! The kind of life where the sky and the trees and the smell of something different is just what I am looking for happened this year.

She always corrects my pronunciation of "time." Because I pronounce will as "tine not time," She's right every time. And somewhere along the way I lost track of how much time I was spending away from her. I'm not losing any more.

I'm chasing our time back now. The day we stood in front of the biggest tree in California. The orange farms. The grandpa and ma sitting together at that restaurant.

That's where I'm headed.

I miss you. Come home safe and soon.

— Kim 3:45 PM, May 22, 2026

Fasan Coffee · 34 Allen St, Lower East Side, NYC